June 21

Finally, I am starting to feel better. It was a very busy week with graduations and family visiting but I felt pretty good. My energy level is still not back and naps in the afternoon are still in order. I am starting to work out (no running) to put back on some of the weight I lost prior to the surgery.

We set a surgery date of July 29th. A little later than I had hoped but still with in the optimum date range for the surgeon. Unfortunately, until the look inside me, we will not know the extent of the surgery or treatment after. I am really hoping for a clean bill and not post surgery chemo.

I will have some follow up visits with the doctors over the next weeks and I will pass on any updates. I still have a lot of questions about recovery etc. but it looks like at least 5 days in the hospital. For now I am going to try to get back to work and enjoy the next 5 weeks of summer with my family.

June 12

I know I have little to complain about but most who know me would think some one else was writing if I did not whine.

I met with the surgeon yesterday he was very encouraging short of wanting me to do another round of chemo after surgery. He is the only one not concerned and actually happy with my weight loss, apparently it makes his job easier. We are waiting for some answers, but the surgery will either be on July 22 or July 29. He remains very positive (97%) that the surgery will be successful and this will all be a bad memory in 6 months. He won't give me a 100% guarantee because then if he is wrong it will effect his sleep.

Cynthia and I met with the oncologist after the surgeon. He too was very positive but also warned me that the radiation and chemo keep working in my body and not to expect too much. He does not want to deal with the chemo after the surgery until they get the pathology on the lymph nodes, which will happen during the surgery. I was very disappointed to hear that if I do the chemo after it will be more intense and for 4 months.

The oncologist also warned me about sun exposure for the next 4 weeks. We are trying to plan a family vacation for July before the surgery but I think my fishing trip with Aaron for his graduation will have to be postponed or modified.

Cynthia did ask if there were diminished cognitive abilities due to the chemo; unfortunately, the oncologist did say there was a term "chemo brain." I have a feeling that statement is going to fuel many more "discussions" in our family especially with the election coming up. Just remember, I was a republican before the chemo, if thing change one can only assume...

The pain and exhaustion this week has been more intense than ever and my sleep has not been good, but I really have little to complain about. The doctors are all still very positive about the long term results, the nausea is for the most part gone, I can start back on a mild exercise routine including the bow flex and I know I am going to feel better with in the next few weeks. Most importantly, I am very thankful for the the love and support of my friend and family.

I will update again as the surgery date is finalized.

June 10

I had my last radiation treatment today, that is the good news, the bad news is that apparently the radiation keeps working for another week and the symptoms won't go away for 2-4 weeks. I was hoping for a balloon, loli pop and a pat on the back, not being told to expect more of the same.

I had a rough day on Saturday. I started out thinking the chemo was out of my system so I went for a run. If there is anyone out there who still may harbor thoughts that my boys get their intelligence from my side, this decision will put that question to rest. I made it about a mile into the run. The radiologist today also scolded me and told me short walks for the next month should suffice.

Everyone is still very supportive and encouraging. I am meeting with my Surgeon and Oncologist tomorrow, hopefully I will have a better idea of the timing for surgery and the next course of action.

June 6

I finished Chemo this week on Wednesday. I thought magaically I would be feeling back to my old self. Either I forget what my old self really felt like or the doctors were correct in warning me about the cumulative effects and recovery time.

I really should not complain after hearing how others have endured the side effects of the radiation and chemo, but I still like to whine.

I have two more radiations and then, according to the doctors again, it continues working in my body for another week before the recovery and healing start. For my part I am still at 2 naps a day and starting to take baths.

I meet with all my doctors next Tuesday and Wednesday and will probably start another round of testing. Hopefully, I will get some direction on timing of surgery.

I continue to learn from this experience some life lessons and some more trivial. I know that all the support and encouragement from everyone has really helped me and all those years of exercising and eating well have really paid off.